You are the average of the five people you spend the most time with. ~ Jim Rohn
When you really start to ponder this, it is powerful. It makes you think. First you start to evaluate the five. Who are they? It takes some time to decide who is really in the game, doesn't it? How much time do you spend with this person? Do I spend more time with that person? In our addictions we chose people who used drugs and alcohol like we did, or at least, close to the way we did. Many of us found it hard to really find people that wanted to use as excessively as we used drugs and alcohol. That's why many of us found ourselves alone.
Just like Bill W. – BB pg. 3 – Bill's Story. The remonstrances of my friends terminated in a row and I became a lone wolf.
Here's a thought. The average of zero is zero. Many of us brought our average of people we spent time with so low, we didn't even have an average.
The people we did spend time with in our addiction are not going to help us stay sober and hanging out with old friends puts us in a dangerous place. It provides us with easy access to the environment of temptation. If we fully concede to our inner most selves that we are an addict and an alcoholic, we concede that those situations are no longer OK for us to "Hang Out" in.
It's a decision that we all must make if we are going to survive and become sober, productive members of society.
This is one of the biggest reasons that sober living communities are so important in early recovery. Research has shown that loneliness during this time can be a relapse trigger. The disease centers in our mind and if we spend too much time alone with ourselves there is a greater chance we will talk ourselves into a relapse. Building a support system and friends in recovery is crucial to long term sobriety and entering a sober living community can give you access to those things immediately.
In a solid Sober Living Program you can start building your Solid 5 and focus on sticking with the winners.
Many of us suffer from low self-esteem and anxiety in social situations. Putting yourself in a built in recovery circle of people who are all going through the same things you are is powerful and encouraging. This is where you can find safety, support and a solution to those early recovery feelings and fears.
Recovery is not an AccIdENt. It takes effort and an Open Mind.